


Face the Final Curtain

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And neither did Shiro, Gen, Goodbyes, Season/Series 03, Shiro leaves them a video, Temporary Character Death, They don't know that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 19:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14722577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: Set in early Season 3.  Pidge finds a video that she needs to share with the rest of the team.





	Face the Final Curtain

“Pidge?” Lance called, stepping into her workroom.  “Are you here?”

From one corner of the dark room, Pidge waved him over.  “Yeah.  I’m here.”

Lance cocked his head as his brows rose.  Pidge sounded bad.  Like she had a bad cold, and she was stuffed up.  Which was not what he’d thought when she’d said she wanted to show everyone something.

As he opened his mouth to ask, Hunk stepped into the dark workroom next.  He nearly collided with Lance’s back, and had to stumble and catch himself.  “Dude, walkway.”  Once they were both shuffled to the side, he looked around and spotted Pidge.  “Hey.  What’s up?  New project?”

Pidge swallowed hard and curled in further on herself.  “Kinda.  Can we wait for Keith?  I don’t want to have to explain twice.”

Eyes wide, Lance caught Hunk’s gaze.  He frowned, brow furrowed.  The unspoken question was obviously - what’s up with her?

Lance just shook his head and shrugged one shoulder.  Pidge had seemed fine at dinner, and now she was very clearly not.  

Luckily, they didn’t have to wait long for Keith.  He came in, without his jacket and with a towel slung behind his neck.  “What’s going on?” He asked, still in that snappish tone that hadn’t faded since the Zarkon fight. 

Pidge took a deep breath, like she was fortifying herself, then stood.  Each step looked heavy as she trudged over, then called up a new, bigger screen.  It was blank for the moment.  “I was going through some older files.  I needed one of my back ups for- well, it doesn’t matter.  Because I found something Shiro left.  Before he vanished.”

Immediately, Keith tensed.  His fingers gripped at the towel like he wanted to tear it apart.  “You shouldn’t go through Shiro’s stuff just because he’s not here,” he spat out, eyes narrowed.  “You hate it when people do that, what makes it okay when you do it?”

Pidge took a step away, blinking rapidly.  It took Lance a second to realize the reaction was because she was fighting back tears.

His stomach, already twisting uncomfortably, dropped to his feet.

“Keith,” Hunk murmured, half scold and half soothe.  “Let her finish.”

Pidge swallowed audibly, then rallied.  “It was- it was labeled for me.  That’s why I opened it.  Not because- whatever.  It said… here.”

With that, she tapped on her armor’s keypad.

An image of Shiro appeared on screen.  He was sitting on a bed in what was probably his room, frozen in place.  Then he started to move, shifting as he got comfortable.

The metal hand raised, and Shiro gave a flash of a smile.  “Hello.  Shiro here.”  Then he paused, brow furrowed.  “No, that’s awful.  I should have thought this out better.  Guess that’s what’s editing is for.”  

Shiro paused, tapping his fingers on his knee.  Then he took a deep breath and looked at the camera again.  “Hello, everyone.  I tried to think of the best way to do this.  Winging it isn’t my preferred strategy, but I think it’s best for this kind of video.  Um.  If you’re watching this, then I’m dead.”

Oh.  No wonder Pidge had looked so wounded.  She must have already watched this.

Lance’s chest ached at the sight of Shiro, more than he would have thought.  They cared, and it had been a hard, hard few weeks without him.  But seeing Shiro like this, smiling, awkward, almost shy, brought back a few specific moments.  The times he’d joined in the fun and played with them, like the snowball fight or making gun noises.  It was a side of Shiro that he knew was there, but that Lance rarely got to see.

Except now he never would again, because Shiro was gone.  And not all of them had Keith’s stubborn denial.

“He-” Keith said, sounding like he’d been punched in the throat.  “He’s not…”

“He’s gone,” Pidge shot back, though it was tired.  “Maybe he’ll come back.  But we can watch it.”

On screen, Shiro continued, oblivious to their argument.  “I’m sorry about that.  It was always a possibility, but not one I wanted to drive home.  But after we went and rescued Allura, and Haggar got that hit on me… well, I thought it was best to have something.  Not a will, really, but a final statement.”

Shiro reached down, his hand covering where that awful slashing wound had been on his side.  For a moment, his face twisted, and it looked like it still hurt him.  Lance had thought the pod had cured it.  Had Shiro hid that from him, or was he just remembering?

“I want to say I’m proud of you all.”  Shiro straightened suddenly, like he’d put on a military uniform.  “All of you have gone so far above and beyond, and I’m not sure you recognize how extraordinary you are.  The circumstances are near impossible, but you’ve overcome time and time again.”

He paused again, eyes distant like he was looking beyond the camera.  “I probably should have recorded separately for all of you.  That would have been smarter.  I’ll cut this up later.”  Sighing, Shiro cleared his throat, then focused again.

“Hunk, do you remember… I don’t know exactly when it was.  Maybe a few days after we first started everything.  My sense of time isn’t always…”  Shiro shook his head, then focused again.  “You came to me one morning.  Early.  I was shocked you were up, actually.  It was before I realized you were an early bird too to make breakfast.  You asked me to go over some flying tips in Yellow.  It was obvious that you weren’t really comfortable coming up to me like that.  I think you still aren’t, actually.  

“I was so glad and flattered you did.  I don’t know how much I helped that day, but you helped me.  You could have gone to Lance or Keith.  Maybe you did, I don’t know.  But it made me feel like I was helping.  Approachable.  Like I could be a leader in more than just telling you when to form Voltron.”  Shiro smiled, distant and nostalgic.  “You’ve come the farthest, I think.  Almost all at once, too.  You went to the Balmera, and came back with such resolve.  And since then you’ve been a pillar.  You understand.  And even when you’re scared, I can count on you to be one of the fiercest of us.  So thank you for that day, and thank you for all the work you do that we take for granted, and thank you for being so powerfully you.”

Lance glanced over, and saw Hunk’s eyes and cheeks wet with shameless tears.  Reaching out, he grabbed hold of his hand and squeezed.  He got a powerful grip in return, and Hunk gave a loud sniffle, clearly only barely holding back.

Shiro paused again.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then smiled.  “Lance.  I worry, with you.  I worry with everyone, but especially with you.  Not for the reasons you’re probably thinking.  I mean, yes, I worry you’ll get tied to another tree, and I worry you’re going to get put to death by some easily offended local.  But mostly I worry I’m too hard on you.”  

He reached up and rubbed over his eyes.  “You’re so bright.  You’re  _happy._   Sometimes I forget what it’s like to be on that end.  And I never want to hurt that.  I just want to keep you safe.  You’re so good.   _Amazing,_  even.  Your skill with a gun is nothing short of remarkable, but where you really shine is with everyone else.  You lighten a mood and raise morale and you just make us more human.  You remind me that there’s good out there, and fun, and happiness.  Please don’t ever lose that.  And, if I can give you one last piece of advice - embrace your strengths.  Yours.  Not the ones you think heroes have, but the ones that are uniquely you.  Appreciate yourself a little more.  We do, even if we don’t always say it.”

Lance stared at the screen, his mouth hanging open.  He felt Hunk squeeze his hand again, but he couldn’t focus enough to return it.  He hadn’t known Shiro felt that way about him.  Hadn’t known he meant so much to his hero - or to the man behind that.  Tears built in his eyes, and he didn’t bother to fight as they spilled over.

After a moment, Shiro nodded, then took a deep breath.  “Pidge.  This- I probably shouldn’t say this.  I shouldn’t put this on you.  But I have to say this at least once.  I’m sorry.  I’m  _so_ sorry.  I should have-”  He paused again, this time choked off.  “I’m sorry I didn’t keep your father and brother safe.  I tried.  I swear to you I did, but it wasn’t enough.  And it should have been better.  If I could go back and fix things, make it so Matt or Sam came back to you instead, I swear I could.  You deserve to have them back.”

Clearing his throat, Shiro rubbed over his eyes, then swallowed hard.  “Sorry.  That’s not fair to put on you.  But you know everything else I’m going to say.  You’re  _amazing._   Brilliant.  Everything else that they used to say on the trip to Kerberos.  I know you’re going to find them, and they’re going to be just as impressed with you.  It’s been an honor to get to know you, too.  Oh, and, uh, when you get home?  Give Bae-bae a hug for me.”

Pidge let out a faint noise, that might have been a suppressed sob or a laugh.  Then she covered her face with her hands, her whole body curled in like she was trying to protect herself.

Reaching out, Lance took hold of her arm and pulled her in closer.  Pidge went, crashing half into his chest and half into Hunk’s.  He didn’t hear her crying, but he felt her trembling.

Next to them all, Keith stood, his hands clenched into fists and his gaze bright and defiant.

“Keith,” Shiro said.  His tone was suddenly different.  Less deep.  Less gentle, too.  It was a tone that Lance had never heard from him before.  

This was what Shiro sounded like to Keith.  What he probably sounded like before he was captured.

“Keith, I’m mostly sorry to you.  I’m hoping by the time you see this, we’ve come to an agreement.  I’m letting it go for now because it’s seriously upsetting you, but I can’t do that forever.”  He dropped his gaze, shoulders slumped.  “I hate to put this burden on you.  But I know you can do it.  From the second we started to talk, when I saw you fly for the first time, I knew you were going to be great.  But it’s more than that.  You’re my best friend, too, and I didn’t expect that.  I didn’t plan on becoming close to you, important to you.  I wish I could have been better at it.  You deserve someone more stable.  Someone who stays by your side.  Someone less wounded.”  
  
Each breath shook, now, as Shiro tried to keep himself under control.  “I wish you could see you the way I do.  I wish you could see how strong you are, how worthy.  I wish I was going to be there to watch you reach that potential.  But even more than that, I wish I was the person you could rely on.  I’m not, Keith.  I tried to be, but I’m not- I can’t…”  Finally, Shiro’s expression crumpled, and he curled in on himself like there was a heavy weight on his back.  “You’re not alone.  Please don’t feel like you are.  You have a family now, more than me.  Let them help you.”

Shiro’s fingers curled into his hair, as he took several more ragged breaths.  “I love you all.  I do.  More than a team.  You’re my family.  Thank you all.  You reminded me what kindness and love felt like, and there will never be a way for me to give that back to you.”

“Coran and Allura, I- fuck.  I can’t do this.”

Shiro reached out, and the video cut off.

They were left in darkness.

Lance clung to Pidge, feeling the moisture build on his shirt as she continued to shake.  Hunk pushed in close, wrapping them both in a tight hug.

Swallowing back the lump in his throat, Lance looked over.  “Keith.”

But Keith didn’t look over.  He was still tense like there was a threat in front of him.  In the dim light, his bared teeth and bright eyes gleamed dangerously.

“You fatalistic bastard,” Keith hissed.  “Don’t you-”  he cut himself off and shook his head.  “He’s not dead.”

And with that, Keith turned and stormed out.

Swallowing hard, Lance closed his eyes and leaned into Hunk’s embrace.

“Should we go get him?” Hunk asked, around his sniffles.

Pidge shook her head.  “No.  Let him be angry.”  Her fingers dug into Lance’s shirt.  “Please stay.  Please don’t leave.”

“We won’t,” Lance promised, and he felt Hunk tighten his grip on them both.

In the dark, surrounded by friends, Lance let the tears fully take him, and mourned for both the man, and the lack of an ending.


End file.
